Online Porn:
Unfortunately, due to its easy accessibility, many married men are
found engaging in online porn. They visit these sites regularly and
when their wives find out they are often devastated by it. The wives
feel utterly betrayed, threatened and as though they have not been
good enough and are not attractive to their husbands.
They
feel humiliated. Sometimes they discover the online porn because
their husbands sexual desire for them has decreased and their
lovemaking is much less frequent.
Online
porn can become and often is an addiction. It can be much harder to
break than one first realizes.. This kind of addiction does not
necessarily arise because the husband feels that his wife is
undesirable, but because it is so much easier to relate in a fantasy
mode than with a real flesh and blood person. In fantasy, one does
not have to meet the needs of the other, they do not have to prove
themselves in anyway.
These
fantasy situations can also provide all kinds of highs and
excitement that a real flesh and blood relationship is not able to
offer anymore. For some men, after being addicted to online porn it
is boring or difficult to have that much sexual interest in their
wives any longer. This can become a serious problem which requires
professional help.
In
these cases, it is necessary to let your husband know that this
behavior is unacceptable, that it is unhealthy, bad for your self
respect and sense of self esteem. Boundaries have to be firmly set
here. Many men minimize their involvement with online porn, and do
not realize the consequences this activity is having and what a
threat it is to their marriage.
Awareness must be brought to this situation. Even though the man
minimizes it, the woman must hold onto her own reality and need for
respect. She must not deny the way you she is feeling, but see to it
that professional help is sought if he cannot stop by himself.
It is
always better to do this sooner than later. The longer an addiction
grows the harder it can be to let go of. It is important to
recognize these threats to your marriage for what they are, not
blame yourself for them or brush them under the table, but to face
the issues directly in a constructive and hopeful way. Let your
partner know that together you can find a solution that works for
both of you.